Why I Chose Presence Over Momentum (And What It Actually Cost Me)

Next week, my twins go back to kindergarten. They've been counting down the days for almost 3 weeks and honestly, as parents, so have we. Long summer holidays are a strain for all - frustration on one side, boredom on the other!

A little context

I worked in corporate finance covering pan-EU FP&A before moving to China (financial crisis 2008 - I wanted to learn something for the future!). I spent 15 years in China operating businesses, investing, building my own, learning, drinking, navigating cultural landmines, and understanding that sometimes the smartest decision is knowing when to pivot completely.

When my wife told me we were having twins during the pandemic, I made the most strategic decision of my career: I chose to prioritize differently. Not temporarily. Not "I'll figure it out later." I mean fundamentally restructuring everything around what actually mattered.

I'd heard the stories of regret: "I wish I was there more for my kids." I worked with HNWI and UHNWI who would see their children maybe 3-4 times a year - no bond, no presence. I had the luck to be able to choose, and my choice was simple: dedicate 3+ years to my family and kids. Not being present was non-negotiable.

Most people thought I was crazy. What they didn't understand was that momentum without direction is just expensive chaos.

(Lessons from those years - other posts to come)

In late 2022 we decided to move to Venice (from Shanghai) for the kids. Why Venice is another story, but I wanted the twins to have a childhood. Playing outside, getting dirty, ready access to everything with minimal transportation, beach, mountains for winter, and fodder for cool stories when they grow up! A carefree childhood - something that's a luxury today.

In early 2023 an opportunity knocked: Head of Finance and Operations for a YC-backed company. I seized it and have worked tirelessly to make my work revolve around my life and kids. Remote for me is about presence. It gives me the opportunity to be present.

My office became wherever my kids wanted to be. Beaches, mountain cabins, playground benches. I'd take calls during naptime and finish work late after bedtime. My professional life had to bend around their schedules, not the other way around.

But here's what happened during these five years that no business book ever mentions: I learned more about operational efficiency from managing twins while working remotely than I ever did from traditional office environments.

When you're trying to close monthly books while your kids are melting down, you either develop surgical precision or you fail. You learn to prioritize ruthlessly. You discover that most of what we call "urgent" in business is just noise. You understand that time isn't something you manage - it's something you choose.

My breakthrough came when I started building FoundersBoxx - a tool born from my own desperate need to accelerate financial and operational work. When you have two hours between dinner and bedtime to complete what used to take a full day, you don't optimize - you rebuild from scratch.

Every feature in FoundersBoxx came from a real moment: automating investor updates while kids played at the beach, maintaining a constant pulse on runway and north stars while being able to delegate effectively, creating systems that could run themselves while I was fully present as both a father and Head of Operations & Finance.

The hardest part wasn't the logistical juggling but the constant questioning "Have I made the right choice?", "What if i followed the beaten path?", but the results didn't lie - no burnouts, more clarity, more focus, and more contentment.

What to expect from my writing

The truth is, there's no going back. Five years of carrying my work to beaches and mountains while building for a growing startup and developing my side project taught me that "normal" was the problem all along.

This blog isn't about work-life balance, parenting advice, or career advice. It's my stories, my experiences, the lessons I've learned and want to share. I don't claim to possess any unique insights or perspectives - everyone's situation is so unique we can only try to distill and synthesize into our lives, not replicate.

The China experiences that taught me about relationships, patience, and strategic thinking. The twin moments that redefined my understanding of priority. The operational insights from keeping the lights on at a YC startup and building FoundersBoxx while managing pure chaos with love instead of corporate policies. The financial discipline learned early in my career at blue chips and investment funds that's been a pillar.

I'm starting this now because I'm finally ready to share what I've learned. Not the sanitized LinkedIn version, but the messy, vulnerable truth about choosing presence over perception and discovering it was the most profitable decision I ever made.

Here's what you won't find: generic productivity tips, work-life balance platitudes, humble brags disguised as lessons, or AI slop.

Here's what you will find: stories from someone who's been carrying laptops to beaches while building both a family and accelerating a startup's operations.

So there you have it - I'm launching FoundersBoxx and will be taking a more radical, down-to-earth approach to promoting it. I built it and am bootstrapping it for flexibility. If it saves just a few hours a month for someone, it will be a success.

And if you're curious about FoundersBoxx - the tool that made this whole experiment possible - stick around. Every story I share here led to building something that solves real problems, not theoretical ones.